Monday, April 28, 2008

The Silence of the Fans


Everyone who knows me knows that I am a psychotic rabid Padres fan (yes we actually do exist, both of us). Any baseball conversation I ever have always turns back to the Pads, to the point that it ends up irritating everyone around me. Think “da bears” guys from SNL but just me, and about the Padres. Yeah its pretty bad. Which makes the travesty that’s happening in downtown San Diego this year all the more painful for me to bear. I’m starting to lose my patience, and this is why.

The Padres are awful this year. There I said it. We are as of today the worst team in the NL West, hitting below .230 as a team (.227 !!!!!!!), scoring a paltry 3.2 runs per game, and without a doubt leading the league in expressionless faces. They’ve grounded in to roughly 396 thousand double plays, and have stolen a total of 7 bases. At the time this was written, their leading hitter is hitting .284 with a whopping 4 HR. Night in and night out these bums get a runner on 3rd with less than two out, and they NEVER score. Ever. They’ll score 7 runs in the first game of the week (which the bullpen blows), then score 1 or 0 for the rest of the week. Jake Peavy, Chris Young, and Greg Maddux have ALL had games where they allowed 1 run on 5 or fewer hits and LOST. They’re just plain pathetic.

Which brings me to my point. I just don’t understand the point of this year’s Padres ballclub. Everyone this side of the Colorado River knew that the Diamondbacks were the best team in the division, and perhaps baseball, and that we didn’t stand a chance in hell of competing with them this year. Why in God’s name are we not playing the youngsters that we have all throughout the organization then, giving them some much needed big league experience so we can make a run for it next year. This Diamondbacks team did EXACTLY that (as did the Rockies, by the way), and went out and signed some huge free agents (Dan Haren and Randy Johnson) to make a run this year. For the last few years they’ve been that scrappy young team that’s almost got it, they just need a little more experience. You’re trying to tell me the Padres couldn’t have done that?

In an effort to make this as long winded as possible (and to show my true frustration) I’m going to break this team down by position and show you what I mean.

C – Josh Bard: the best thing about this position in my opinion is that Michael Barrett got injured forcing Buddy Black to play Bardo every night. I like Bard. He’s got a spaghetti arm and he’ll never hit like he did his first season with us, but he’s a serviceable catcher that the pitchers trust, that can call a hell of a game. No complaints here.

1B – Adrian Gonzales: stud. Wish he’d show a little more backbone, but a stud nonetheless. God awful in the clutch though, an almost guaranteed double play in the above mentioned situation (runner on third less than two outs).

2B – Tadahito Iguchi: he’ll heat up I’m sure, but shit. Come on man. At least he salvaged his April with the walkoff Saturday. Good show. Farrr better option than last years starting 2B (Marcus Giles).

SS – Khalil Greene: overrated. My fellow Padres fans will hate me for saying this, but look at his numbers. He’s got better than average range at SS, I can’t think of a better player when he goes horizontal, and he’s got a cannon for an arm, but his hitting is atrocious. He will be a career 250 hitter, mark my words (he’d need quite the hitting streak to even TOUCH 250 this year, much less remain there, but that’s not the point).

3B – Kevin Kouzmanoff: dude needs to calm down and hit. Underrated as a fielder, but I think he’s pressing too hard as a hitter.

SP – if they got run support they’d be among the best in baseball. No doubt in my mind. Pleasant surprise in Randy Wolf. Jake is the best in the business, hands down.

RP – see above. I won’t fall victim to the “burn Trevor at the stake for blowing games” mantra. The best pitchers in baseball give up a run every three innings, so it stands to reason that when a closer is given a one run lead in 4 straight relief appearances he’s bound to blow at least one of those games. The only thing that kills me is the predictability of it. OH and Trevor, don’t pitch to Bengi Molina anymore. Ever. Ok?

Everything I’ve said above would look like a decent team, right? They’re basically the squad that carried us to 89 wins last year, and a near playoff birth (tough to beat a team that doesn’t have to touch home plate to score, but that’s beside the point). Here’ where the wheels fall off the bus.

RF – Brian Giles: overpaid. 3 years removed from his prime. Sadly the only hitter on the team that I have any kind of confidence in this year. Hitting lead off? Really Bud Black? That’s the best you have to offer?

LF – the three headed monster of Scott Hairston, Paul McAnulty, and Justin Huber. Hairston is a total joke. He’s hitting about .170 at this point, and he always looks like he’s about to start crying. Start juicing again buddy, it was better for the fans. McAnulty and Huber are actually decent, but they don’t get enough playing time to get any kind of plate confidence. If it was up to me, these guys would be starting in left and right, respectively. That is unless we weren’t idiots and actually kept Milton Bradley. Miss him at all Sandy Alderson? I sure as hell do. You think his crazy ass would have let this bunch of bums play like this and get swept at home by the Giants? He would killed an umpire on the field before he let that happen. God I miss that guy. Anyone else notice that the current slump the Padres are in extends to last year? When he got injured? Yeah he’s that important.

CF – Jim Edmonds: it took me four tries to type that because I kept stabbing myself in the eye with my keys. He’s hitting 170, he is WAY too old and slow to cover that outfield. It’s a nightmare. A multi million dollar nightmare. And to think, Mike Cameron’s suspension would have ended today.

That doesn’t even take in to account the monster in the minors that is Chase Headley, a 3rd baseman with a stellar bat who is being converted in to an outfielder.

Basically I would be so much happier if we just canned Giles, Hairston, and Edmonds, and let Huber, McAnulty, and Headley play. Sure theyd make some errors, and might not hit right away. But I’m pretty sure we’d still be 10-16 or better, maybe not in dead last place, and it would offer me something to look forward to. All I see now is a steaming pile of Mendoza line hitting atrocity. I was joking the other day that were the Padres to get in to a fight on the field, they would get their collective asses kicked because the only one that would put up any kind of a fight would be Jake Peavy. The rest of these bums just stand around lifeless the whole game with the same blank “can I go home and play guitar hero yet” expression on their faces.

But who am I kidding, what would be the point in fighting, these clowns can’t hit anyways.

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