WBML's Midseason Baseball Awards - NL

Since Scottie was kind enough to write about the AL (aka the league with the douchy-est fans in the country), I will now gladly do my first half of the season review of the NL. What a strange season it’s been so far. First of all, the reigning NL champion is a paltry 37 – 51. In fact, the NL West, one of the strongest divisions in baseball last year, is absolutely atrocious (combined 196-243). No one can win a game. The NL got absolutely stomped in interleague play this season, and looked completely outmatched by even the worst teams in the AL.

Not a good time to be an NL fan.

Without further ado, let me dive right in to my midseason awards:

NL MVP Award – Adrian Gonzales
Holy shit! Dave picked a Padres player! I know surprise surprise. But before you get all righteous and indignant, let me back up my claim. The pride of Eastlake High School is having an absolutely monstrous season, with 22 HR (3^rd in the NL), 70 RBI (2^nd in the NL), and 7 BroBI’s, which is far and away the most in baseball. As of today, Adrian is responsible for 30.6% of the runs scored by his team (70 RBI and 52 R, minus the 22 RBI and R that come from his HRs, out of a team total of 327 runs). Completely absurd. Too bad the Padres suck at life.

Honorable mention – Chipper Jones, Chase Utley, Albert Pujols

NL LVP Award – Andruw Jones, Michael Barrett (tie)
I don’t even know where to start with these two. Andruw Jones has been absolutely awful. Dude showed up to spring training this year looking like he was spending 100 dollars a day on 5 dollar footlongs from Subway. Just a giant FU to Dodger fans. Then he followed it up with hitting .155. His range in the outfield is completely gone. Awful. Oh yeah and they’re paying him $18.1 million. Per year.

Anyone who frequents www.gaslampball.com and sees my posts (as justdave) knows how I feel about Michael Barrett. But for those of you who don’t, let me enlighten you. I feel that he in unequivocally the most worthless player in baseball. This is a guy we acquired for his bat that is batting .202. Oh and that last at bat where he took a ball to the face? That’s his first at bat over the Mendoza Line since April. And did I mention he couldn’t throw out a Molina brother stealing 2^nd? Every single hit by an opposing team is instantly stretched in to a double, sometimes even a triple. I would argue that Michael Barrett is indirectly responsible for more Padres losses than any other player, and I encourage someone to do the research for me (too lazy).

Honorable mention – Barry Zito, Aaron Harang (for singlehandedly killing my fantasy team, that pick is out of spite)

NL Cy Young – Tim Lincecum
Oh man. Have you watched this kid pitch? Really? Here, look at this video. Read this article. This kid is 10 – 1, with a 2.49 ERA and 122 K’s, the most dominant performance by an NL rookie since the Doc in 1985. For some reason he isn’t starting the All Star game, and while Volquez is having himself quite a little season, he’s no Lincecum. This kid is the next superstar in MLB, mark my words. 5’10”, 172 lbs, throws 98(!!!!!!!!) mph, with a curveball that buckles my knees, and I’m watching him on TV. Yes, I have a man-crush on Tim Lincecum. Its pretty obscene.

Honorable Mention – Edinson Volquez

The Barry Zito Award for the Anti-Cy Young – Barry Zito
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.
Stupid Giants, your money bought you a case of Herpes. He’s awful. His fastball has lost an extraordinary amount of velocity. His curveball doesn’t cross the plate for strikes. He’s had so many issues that it’s pushed Bruce Bochy’s abnormally sized head near the point of explosion. Their front office seems to have chosen poorly. Honestly? I couldn’t be happier.

Honorable Mention – n/a. no one is even close.

NL Rookie of the Year – Edgar Gonzales (aka Skinny Me)
Follow my logic here. Not only is Edgar hitting .309 (which to the Padres is like hitting .709), he is directly responsible for Adrian’s dominance this season. Adrian just looks happier with big Bro chillin on the field next to him. And if you combine their numbers together, they have 25 HR and 85 RBI, which means the Fighting Gonzalii are putting up MVP caliber numbers here (notice I have AGon as my MVP up there, like the continuity?) so they should at least be ROY, ya know? FOLLOW ME DAMMIT!

NL Manager of the Year – Bud Black
the man is an All Star Manager!!! You have to respect his ability to juggle the offensive three headed juggernaut that is the Padres Left Field (McAnulty, Hairston, Headley). I don’t know how he does it. And don’t get me started with his genius with our bullpen. Trevor never blows tie games! Put him in every time!

Seriously though it should be no one. Did you watch interleague play this year? We got outplayed, outmanaged, and outmoustached. Outhustled, outthought, outpitched, outhit, outeverythinged. We all suck. Our managers are garbage. I hate my life.

You gotta give Bob Melvin some love though, who else could coach a sub-500 team to the top of the mountain?